ESPN analyst Mel Kiper has fired off a lot of hot NFL Draft takes throughout his career, but nothing he has uttered at the league’s annual event can possibly rival his thoughts on pizza.
During the most recent episode of the “ESPN Daily” podcast, Kiper spoke to Pablo Torre about several topics, including his strange eating habits. Kiper told Torre that he eats pumpkin pie “as many times as I possibly can” and will even kick off his morning with pumpkin pie for breakfast. He doesn’t eat pumpkin pie every day, but that’s only because it is not always available to him.
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Oh, but it gets weirder. Torre then asked Kiper to reveal his pizza-eating process, and it is . . . something.
“I take the cheese off the pizza, and I eat the pizza with mashed potatoes. So, mashed potatoes and pizza without cheese is what I do,” Kiper said. “I think I’m healthy because I’m not eating the cheese, right? I don’t eat the cheese. I just leave a little on there for the flavor. The cheese does give you the flavor, I do leave a little bit on. . . .
“It’s mostly just the sauce and the dough, and then I put the mashed potatoes on it, and that’s what I do.”
Uh, what the hell?
And, in case you thought Kiper was just joking around, he later encouraged Torre to try his technique.
Remember: Get the pizza with cheese, THEN take it off — and add the mashed potatoes. Give it a shot.
— Mel Kiper Jr. (@MelKiperESPN) April 16, 2021
If you’ve ever wondered what fuels an NFL Draft expert, apparently it’s copious amounts of pumpkin pie and mashed-potato pizza, which shall henceforth be referred to as “The Kiper Abomination.”