Splatoon 3: Side Order DLC Review

By | February 27, 2024

“Splatoon is so damn cool,” I thought to myself as I blasted through overwhelming hordes of fish skeletons with a souped-up umbrella-shotgun hybrid while vibing to the beat of a catchy, far-out electronic soundtrack. Splatoon 3’s unparalleled sense of style is on full display in its Side Order DLC, even as it risks swapping its iconic, vibrant color palette for an equally alluring black-and-white dystopia. Nintendo’s first big swing at a highly replayable, single-player roguelite mode does come with some growing pains, including repetitive boss battles, inconsistent difficulty, and occasionally poor pacing. But Side Order still thrives thanks to bonkers new abilities that let me completely shatter what’s usually possible in Splatoon, a clever new enemy class with top-notch designs and mechanics, and its appetizing twist on the phenomenal look, sound, and feel Splatoon fans have come to expect.

It’s endlessly cool to me that Splatoon 3’s Mad Max-inspired setting was the direct outcome of a Splatoon 2 Splatfest in 2019: squidkids the world over got to fight for either Chaos or Order, with Chaos winning the day and impacting the style of this sequel as a result. Five years later, Side Order cleverly shows us what the Splatlands would have looked like if Team Order had won that fateful Splatfest, replacing its post-apocalyptic wasteland with the sterile, monochrome Order Sector. I love not only that the Splatoon team is brave enough to leave huge game direction decisions like this up to the community, but that we’re also getting a look into that alternate Inkling and Octoling reality after all.

And this side of Splatoon is incredibly cool. Draining all the color from both Splatoon 2’s Inkopolis Square and the levels housed in the Spire of Order gives Side Order its own identity, distinct from the color-soaked splattlefields of Turf War, Salmon Run, and Splatoon 3’s campaign. One of the few real criticisms I had of Splatoon 3 is that it lacked its own hooks by reusing the same look and feel as its predecessors, and Side Order’s inclusion confidently puts that issue to rest with its striking new style and memorable electronic, robotic soundtrack to match.

After a somewhat chatty tutorial reintroduces Splatoon 2 fan favorites Pearl and Marina, you’re set loose to fight your way through the Spire of Order’s 30-floor gauntlet… although, I use the word “gauntlet” lightly, as I beat the final boss waiting at Floor 30 on just my second attempt. That’s my biggest problem with Side Order: it’s just too easy. Roguelites are supposed to be about incremental progress where both your character and your own skills improve with every run. But while those progression systems are in place, I felt robbed of that loop of failure, advancement, and eventual triumph when I was already watching the credits roll after less than two hours. Granted, I have over 100 hours in competitive multiplayer and have hit S+ rank multiple times, and Side Order started me out with the dualies – which happens to be my weapon of choice – so someone coming in after months away will probably have a tougher time climbing this tower. Still, it was a disappointing outcome when I came in hoping for a challenge that would force me to flex my mussels.

Unshackled from PvP balance, Side Order really lets you get weird.

Thankfully, rolling credits is just the start of Side Order, as it quickly dares you to reach the end with all 12 available weapon types in order to reach what I currently assume is its “true” ending. This is a much taller task than winning a single run, as it has forced me to get comfortable with weapons I’ve barely touched, most of which have to be unlocked with keys earned as you do runs. After more than a dozen hours, I’ve only reached the top with about half of them so far, but I’m determined to continue until I’ve cleared the Spire with every weapon.

I wouldn’t stick around to 100% Side Order if it weren’t for the fantastic ways this DLC expands upon Splatoon 3’s basic gameplay. Unshackled from the balance requirements of a competitive online game, Nintendo really lets you get weird with it. Side Order’s impressive suite of new abilities are held within color chips, which you earn on each floor during a run. There are over 60 different color chips to find, which can enhance your Octoling’s power, speed, range, and more. Stacking the right color chips can create some crazy combinations, turning a short range weapon like the Octobrush into a long range sniper rifle with homing shots. It’s a ton of fun to see how far you can push Splatoon’s mechanics, transforming standard weapons into unrecognizable death machines. The undemanding missions may not necessarily keep me coming back, but imagining the next power trip I can create with its color chips is certainly inspiring enough to start a fresh run.

Another great addition is the Pearl Drone, your Octoling’s flying assistant that can drop splat bombs, fire off special attacks, and even be used as a Breath of the Wild-like glider. While your color chip build resets at the start of each run, you can permanently upgrade both the Pearl Drone and some of your basic character stats in between them. Ever since I fully outfitted the Pearl Drone with multiple equipment slots and devastating specials, I haven’t failed a run up the Spire of Order. With the right color chip set, the Pearl Drone becomes an unstoppable force, causing constant explosions and mayhem on screen, to the point where it’s impressive Side Order maintains 60 frames per second. The Pearl Drone also has a game-changing super move that triggers when you collect three pieces of a disc, obliterating all enemies on screen and preventing new waves from spawning for a few precious moments.

Each bite-sized floor in Side Order presents you with three different missions to choose from, ranging in difficulty from easy to rigorous. The harder the mission you select, the more currency and better color chip you’ll earn as a result. It’s a great risk-reward system that forces me to decide if I want to risk it all for a color chip that could greatly enhance my current build, or play it safe to ensure my run lasts one more floor.

Each run does a decent job mixing up the objectives and maps.

Variety is the name of the roguelite game, and Side Order does a decent job at mixing up its objectives and maps across each run. Some missions are great single-player spins on Splatoon 3’s ranked multiplayer modes, like guiding a turbine tower to its destination or defending a splat zone from incoming waves of enemies. One of the best mission types involves closing portals that enemies are pouring out of, while two of the more annoying objectives have you push a series of balls to a goal or chase down and defeat a set of squirrely, high-speed enemies.

Map design is pretty hit or miss in Side Order. There are definite highlights, like a multistory tower where I had to guide the turbine all the way down to the bottom and back up to the top, a room made up entirely out of grind rails, or a very bouncy trampoline park, but a lot of the maps feel pretty generic and blend together after a while. That said, to its credit, I am still seeing new floors crop up even more than 12 hours in.

Things get really interesting when either the “Bonus” or “Danger” tags appear on the level select screen. Bonus levels add an additional objective on top of their regular goal, offering more rewards if you manage to complete it – that includes creative restrictions like not moving in Octoling form, not using your main weapon, or not jumping while you complete the main objective. Meanwhile, Danger settings ramp up the difficulty pretty considerably, as one particularly memorable Danger modifier turned out all the lights and covered the entire level in enemy ink. The Bonus objectives and Danger modifiers are awesome, so I only wish they popped up a bit more often.

No matter the map or the objective, Side Order does manage to stay fresh in part thanks to the introduction of its fantastic new enemies: the Jelleton. These fish skeleton creatures are intimidating to look at and really fun to fight. If Salmon Run is Splatoon’s Left 4 Dead, Side Order is its Days Gone, as I spent a lot of time swimming away in terror from the seemingly endless amount of Jelleton wriggling towards me. The Rigorous difficulty missions are particularly intense, as there were moments I couldn’t even believe the number of enemies on screen.

One of the biggest failings of Side Order is its boss variety.

There are more than ten different types of basic Jelleton enemies, and each has its own unique strength and weakness. Drizzling Capriccioso will take over your territory in an instant if you’re not keeping an eye out for them above you, while Towering Nobilmente are able to snipe you from across the map. Some enemies drop items upon death that you can use to your advantage, like the Whirling Accelerando’s top that you can send crashing into waves of enemies, or the Springing Spiccato’s jump pad that serves as a helpful way out of an overwhelming situation. With the Jelleton, Nintendo has found even more clever ways to make use of Splatoon’s satisfying movement and combat, and I’d love to see a follow up that expands their roster further.

While the basic enemies are great, one of the biggest failings of Side Order is its boss variety. Floors 10, 20, and 30 are always boss fights, but there’s a surprising lack of bosses for a game mode all about replayability. For example, floor 30 is always the same final boss, and it doesn’t increase in difficulty on repeat playthroughs. That fight is fairly annoying to begin with, too, as you have to spend a lot of time dodging its endless attacks while your Pearl Drone does most of the heavy lifting. Floors 10 and 20 pull from a combined pool of just three boss types, meaning you’ll see the same ones over, and over, and over.

On top of that, Side Order has some minor pacing issues that leave its runs feeling less snappy than I’d like. A successful run takes about an hour to complete, with only about half of that being time actually spent in a stage. The other half is taken up by level selection and chatty dialogue scenes in the elevator. Pair that with a difficulty curve where floors one through 25 feel more like a formality before you get to the far more challenging final five floors, and it leaves Side Order lacking that “just one more run” feeling the best roguelites nail. I would have loved an endless mode to see how high I can climb, but unfortunately Side Order stops after that same floor 30 fight every time.

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