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Whether you play as a Male Shepard or Female Shepard, you have two romance options in Mass Effect 1:
- Kaidan Alenko, a reserved soldier who is talented with biotics. Female Shepard only.
- Liara T’Soni, a curious but knowledgeable Asari scientist. Available for any Shepard.
- Ashley Williams, an outspoken soldier and a crack shot. Male Shepard only.
There are a few notes to make regarding romances and your crew:
- As a general rule, to romance somebody you should be positive with them at all times and pick options associated with Paragons.
- While Ashley is racist towards other species, she improves by the time of Mass Effect 3, in case that is a factor for you.
- If you don’t romance Ashley or Kaidan in Mass Effect 1, they are eventually available in Mass Effect 3. Ashley will still be for Males only, but Kaidan will then be open for both Female and Male Shepards.
- Tali and Garrus become romance options in Mass Effect 2, for Male and Female Shepards respectively. You cannot start a romance with them in Mass Effect 3; you must romance them in Mass Effect 2 first.
- Wrex is not able to be romanced at any point in the Mass Effect Trilogy.
Successful completion of a romance will grant the Paramour Achievement/Trophy.
If you’re playing as a Female Commander Shepard, Kaidan will be the one to interfere with the Prothean Beacon on Eden Prime during the Find the Beacon mission. When you awake on the Normandy, you can begin being rather friendly with him by picking Paragon options. You can then keep this up after subsequent Mission Worlds to become firmer friends with them.
After you complete your first Mission World (either Therum, Noveria or Feros), you can speak with Kaidan about the mission. You can then begin to start a closer friendship with him. You can then keep this up after subsequent Mission Worlds.
If you picked up Liara T’Soni and spoke to her before doing Virmire, then after completing Virmire she’ll ask if you’re interested in her after she admits to reading your background file. You should decline her to avoid complications.
If however you’ve been courting both Liara and Kaidan at the same time, then after your next Mission briefing you’ll be confronted by both of them, and they’ll ask you to choose one. Choosing Kaidan will continue the relationship with him. If you try to say both, they’ll both be upset with you, and Kaidan will be locked out as a romance option (Liara however can be picked back up again).
Towards the end of Virmire, at a certain point you’ll be asked to rescue either Ashley or Kaidan (this is NOT who to put on Kirrahe’s team at the beach, that’s different). Obviously, you’ll want to rescue Kaidan so that he can live and the romance can progress.
After you complete all four Mission Worlds and return to the Citadel, the Normandy will be grounded and Kaidan will appear to comfort Shepard. Unless you consistently pick Renegade options here, your romance with Kaidan will be locked in.
If you didn’t act abrasive to Kaidan during the lockdown meeting, then while en route to Ilos he’ll visit you in your personal quarters. Paragon options will result in a lot of passion and a very steamy bedroom scene. Renegade choices will have them leaving the room, however they are still considered to be in a relationship with you, and thus you’ll get the Paramour Achievement.
Mass Effect 2
Mass Effect 3
If you’re playing as a Male Commander Shepard, Ashley will be the one to interfere with the Prothean Beacon on Eden Prime during the Find the Beacon mission. When you awake on the Normandy, you can begin being rather friendly with her by picking Paragon options. This doesn’t affect the romance, but can be seen as the beginnings of one.
After you complete your first Mission World (either Therum, Noveria or Feros), you can speak with Ashley about the mission. You can then begin to start a closer friendship with her. You can then keep this up after subsequent Mission Worlds to become firmer friends with them.
If you picked up Liara T’Soni and spoke to her before doing Virmire, then after completing Virmire she’ll ask if you’re interested in her after she admits to reading your background file. You should decline her in order to avoid complications.
If however you’ve been courting both Liara and Ashley at the same time, then after your next Mission briefing you’ll be confronted by both of them, and they’ll ask you to choose one. Choosing Ashley will continue the relationship with her. If you try to say both, they’ll both be upset with you, and Ashley will be locked out as a romance option (Liara however can be picked back up again).
Towards the end of Virmire, at a certain point you’ll be asked to rescue either Ashley or Kaidan (this is NOT who to put on Kirrahe’s team at the beach, that’s different). Obviously, you’ll want to rescue Ashley so that she can live and the romance can progress.
After you complete all four Mission Worlds and return to the Citadel, the Normandy will be grounded and Ashley will appear to comfort Shepard. Unless you consistently pick Renegade options here, your romance with Ashley will be locked in.
If you didn’t act abrasive to Ashley during the lockdown meeting, then while en route to Ilos she’ll visit you in your personal quarters. Paragon options will result in a lot of passion and a very steamy bedroom scene. Renegade choices will have her leaving the room, however she is still considered to be in a relationship with you, and thus you’ll get the Paramour Achievement.
Mass Effect 2
Mass Effect 3
While Kaidan and Ashey’s romance paths are effectively identical, Liara’s is different because she is almost too easy to romance, particularly because both a Male and Female Shepard can romance her.
If you intend to not romance anybody in Mass Effect 1, you should save rescuing Liara until after Virmire. This ensures Liara doesn’t have enough time to form an attachment to Shepard.
Assuming you picked Liara up before Virmire, you should of course be nice to her in order to establish a friendship. If you still have a non-Virmire Mission World after that, then you can make it a firmer friendship by talking with her after that.
Virmire is where things get serious: if you’ve been courting Ashley or Kaidan, then Liara will ask how you feel about her. If you express interest in her, your romance with Ashley or Kaidan is effectively ended.
If you’ve romanced both your human squadmate option and Liara, then at a certain point you’ll be confronted by both of them and are asked to choose between them. You should choose Liara. You can offer both, however they won’t have it and storm off. While the romance with the human squadmate is locked out, you can talk to Liara and rekindle the romance.
After you complete all four Mission Worlds and return to the Citadel, the Normandy will be grounded and Liara will appear to comfort Shepard. Unless you consistently pick Renegade options here, your romance with Liara will be locked in.
If you didn’t act abrasive to Liara during the lockdown meeting, then while en route to Ilos she’ll visit you in your personal quarters. Paragon options will result in a lot of passion and a very steamy bedroom scene. Renegade choices will have them leaving the room, however they are still considered to be in a relationship with you, and thus you’ll get the Paramour Achievement.